There are plenty of reasons to dread the possibility of Carl Paladino becoming governor of New York. He’s gross.
But I wanted to alert everyone to another odious threat. If Andrew Cuomo is elected, the new first lady of New York will be none other than . . . Sandra Lee.
That’s right. She of the semi-homemade. She of the pink cocktail. She of the gold-tinted tablescape. She of the Kwanzaa Cake.
You know what I don’t want? I don’t want children brainwashed into thinking that drinking copious amounts of chardonnay, slapping canned frosting on a store bought sheet cake, spray painting everything beige, and calling yourself a “lifestylist” is an equally valid and successful option. It isn’t.
Are we really going to go from Michelle Paige Patterson, who’s just tops and may have an open marriage, to a woman who would like to turn the whole world into a colorless, tasteless, pinot grig soaked, cream-colored monstrosity?
I’m not encouraging anyone to vote for Paladino. Clearly he’s batshit, tabloid ridic. And I realize that the scourge of the bougie beige is on a spectrum of evils and that it could be worse. But I am afraid. Very, very afraid.