The Thing Speaks for Whatever

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The Beige Menace

In Boxed Wine Is Bad For You, In which we watch too much television, Jenny, Kwanzaa on October 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm

There are plenty of reasons to dread the possibility of Carl Paladino becoming governor of New York. He’s gross.

But I wanted to alert everyone to another odious threat. If Andrew Cuomo is elected, the new first lady of New York will be none other than . . . Sandra Lee.


Gag Her With That Spoon

Even her dog is beige


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Keep Up That Sputtering Strut

In I Make Things, Jenny on July 1, 2010 at 11:00 pm

You know that moment right as you start to pull out of a rut? The moment when you’re still real mad, but starting to be able to laugh about it? But the laugh is all raspy and laughing feels unfamiliar and you start coughing instead.

In that moment, there are two paths you can choose.You can hole up and watch seventeen more hours of Hulu. Or you can get in the car and drive to get a milkshake. And for no reason you can fathom, you say, “Fuck it, it’s sunny outside. Hell, it’s downright lovely,” and you grab your keys.

That is the moment you hit play on this mix. Read the rest of this entry »