The Thing Speaks for Whatever

Archive for the ‘I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt’ Category

50 Shades of Grey: Shark Week

In Back Door Book Club B!tches 4: Back in the Saddle, Docta K, Fuck you, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Katie, Pornocracy, Ridiculously Long Pocket Guides, Rooks, Unabashedly Epic Group Posts, Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. on July 3, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Previously on Res Ipsa Etc., our BDBCB4:BS duo became a trio, and we discovered the myriad ways in which Silence of the Lambs is much awesomer than this book.  After a minor scheduling induced hiatus, we’re back this week, though admittedly we, um, fell prey to sharks.  Seriously, a lot of sharks.  A lot.  Unfortunately, learning about the wonders of marine life doesn’t actual kill you the way actual marine life would, so, though chummy enough, we were all alive to wax biological on Chapter 8 of Fifty Shades of Grey, in which Christian and Ana finally fucking do the deed.  Read on at your peril – there’s blood in the water.

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50 Shades of Grey: You May Not Be Excused from the Table Until You’ve Finished Your Liver, Fava Beans, and that Nice Chianti

In Back Door Book Club B!tches 4: Back in the Saddle, Docta K, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Katie, Legally Inclined, Ridiculously Long Pocket Guides, Rooks, This verges on the ridiculous, Verbs are people too on June 13, 2012 at 12:28 am

Previously on Res Ipsa Etc., we learned that stopping a potential rape is apparently an affirmative defense to stalking, and were appalled.  This week, BDBCB4:BS got its first new member in the form of one Docta K – are you excited? We are!  (Despite the fact that our loquaciousness quotient went up exponentially . . . that’s, um, not a mathematical exaggeration.)  We are less excited to still be reading this book, and somehow still have yet to hit any of the reputedly epic sexytimes as we traverse chapters 5-7.  Weirdly enough, by the time you get to the end of this admittedly girthy post, you’ll understand why we think that’s a blessing, not a curse.  Strap in, folks, it’s gonna be a drinky ride! Read the rest of this entry »

50 Shades of Grey: We Have to Stop Meeting Like This

In Back Door Book Club B!tches 4: Back in the Saddle, Because fuck you exploiters. Fuck you., I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Katie, Ridiculously Long Pocket Guides, Rooks, This verges on the ridiculous, We's ravin'! on June 6, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Previously on Res Ipsa Etc., we started a terrible book.  This week, we continue to blaze an intrepid path through the literary desert, a wilderness of suck, if you will, on everyone’s behalf.  Suffering:  All the Cool Kids Are Doing It.  (No really, they are!  Docta K has acquired a copy of 50 Shades of Grey and may be joining us in some future posts!  Woot!)  Anyway, BDBCB4:BS continues on with chapters 2-4 of what is arguably the worst book either of us have ever read.  We snark because we care.

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50 Shades of Grey: Ruminations on Purple Prose, Consent, Commiseration, and Katie’s Ongoing Submission to the Subjunctive

In Back Door Book Club B!tches 4: Back in the Saddle, Because fuck you exploiters. Fuck you., I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Katie, Pornocracy, Ridiculously Long Pocket Guides, Rooks, This verges on the ridiculous, Verbs are people too on May 30, 2012 at 3:57 am

Oh hey!  Yeah, sometimes hiatuses happen.  Whoops!  Life!  It occurs!  Our bad!

However the gears at RIEtc. are slowly turning once more (seriously, you should see the sheer cornucopia of draft posts on the dashboard), cranking up to cranking out plenty of awesomeness for your summer pleasure.  After all, when you get a flyer from Good Vibrations advertising a Shades of Grey shopping guide in your email, it’s really, really, really, really hard not to feel prodded to say something about the state of the world in which we live. Read the rest of this entry »

On the Death of Character: What’s Wrong with Series Crime Procedurals?

In dammit, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, In which we watch too much television, Rooks, Verbs are people too on November 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Unrealistic like that one Jimmy Smits vehicle where a reasonably young SCOTUS justice decides to step down and start a defense practice due to extreme bench conversion (and blackmail). Except for how nothing could be that unrealistic.

The TV show “Castle” – yes, I watch it, and I have no shame surrounding this fact – originally opened with a number of people lambasting the titular character, Richard Castle, a crime procedural author, because he killed off his cash cow, a character by the name of “Derek Storm.”  (Yes, really.)  Why on earth would Castle do such a thing, ask his literary pals, his family – why kill off such a successful franchise?  Castle repeatedly chalks this awfully unrealistic move up to a lack of inspiration, which I translate as, quite simply, boredom.  He was over Derek Storm (and who wouldn’t be, given that name?) and it was time to do something new.

Having read a fair few of these sorts of novels, the question really isn’t one of why.  It’s how on earth could you blame him?

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I don’t often protest, but when I do, I Occupy Vancouver on #15Oct.

In Because fuck you exploiters. Fuck you., Because I Think I Deserve It, Bezuidenthustra, Don't Tase Me Bro!, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Uncategorized on October 15, 2011 at 9:08 am

October 15, 2011.

Today’s a big day.

Today I am rolling up my sleeves, cracking my knuckles, and drawing a line in the sand.

Today I am Occupying Vancouver.

Wherever you may be in the world today, you should join, too. This is the protest of our generation. Read the rest of this entry »

America Fuc- oh, yeah? Really? I Had No Idea: Fact, Fallacy and Fun Misconceptions about the US.

In Don't Tase Me Bro!, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Posts for Page Likes Promo, Rooks, Why Didn't Lisa Frank Make a Privilege Knapsack with Dolphins? on September 30, 2011 at 1:53 am

On the internet, the self-obsessed are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the bloggers, who say crazy shit; and the readers, who take them up on it.  These are their blogposts.

Which is to say, welcome to 25 Posts in Search of an Author, or, What Happened When Rooks Decided We Needed More “Likes” and Shit Started Getting Real.  Once upon a time on Facebook, I said that the first twenty five people to like the Res Ipsa Etc. facebook page (Dooooo it.) would get a post on the topic of their choice authored by yours truly.  Slowly but surely, topics have begun rolling in, proving once again that our readership is likely as diverse in their interests as RIE’s authors.  As such, I figured it was probably time to hit the ground running.  Each of these posts will likely have some variation on this spiel (if not, you know, this exact spiel), as well as the requesting party and original topic prompt as sent to Rooks/me/whatever the third person is hard.  Without further ado, then . . .

For Juli

Resolved: A post about the most inaccurate and offensive misconceptions foreigners have about “American” culture.

Yes, we all look like this.

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Everything you always needed to know about rugby and its world cup. Plus a little bit extra.

In Bezuidenthustra, Don't Tase Me Bro!, Getting anal about sport, I read this entire post and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, Ridiculously Long Pocket Guides, This verges on the ridiculous on September 8, 2011 at 3:35 pm

IT IS NEARLY UPON US!

Seriously. Fuck Invictus. The real shit's so much more epic.

The rugby world cup kicks off in about a week’s time. I’m basically jumping out of my tighty-whities at the prospect of six weeks of bone-crunching action culminating in the crowning of a new world champion. Actually, I’m hoping we’ll just be re-crowning the current world champions, but that’s neither here nor there. Point is, RUGBY.

Okay, I realize I’m not exactly dealing with a bunch of faithful mega-fans here. In fact, I’m thinking my readers will fall roughly into two groups: those who couldn’t really give a fuck about sport, and those who do give a fuck about sport but don’t quite know why they should give a fuck about rugby. (And then there are those of you who saw Invictus and actually felt inspired by the rugby action sequences. Sadly, there’s no hope for you. Those are some of the worst sport sequences ever filmed. Okay, enough about Invictus. Blech.)

Right, looks like I have my work cut out for me.

Hmmm. Read the rest of this entry »